Self Loathing

Dear Colleagues:

• If you are relentlessly perky during teacher training, I will hate you.
• If you force me to do any kind of "team building" or "break out session," I will hate you.
• If you display all the technical facilities of my grandmother, I will hate you.
• If you utter mixed metaphors during teacher training (like "having too many coals in the fire"), I will hate you.
• If you nitpick during the question and answer session, I will hate you.
• If you ask more than one question, or your hand shoots up like an eager six-year-old, I will hate you.
• If you fill out your name tag with cutesy handwriting, I will hate you.
• If you talk to one another so that I can't hear the speaker drone on about "learning outcomes," I will hate you.
• If you extol the virtues of yourself, your department, your program, your lab (instead of letting others do it for you), I will hate you.
• If you extol the virtues of last year's textbook (instead of the one we're required to use), I will hate you.

It's too late for this year, of course, but if you could just keep this in mind for next year, I'd really appreciate it.

--kisses--

7-letter Deborah