Hitting the Road

Yesterday, I got to pull a rock-star diva when Saturday's band called to see what kind of pizza I wanted for dinner. No pizza for me. I'll be lucky if my voice holds out until Saturday night and pizza would send it over the edge.

I sound more diva than I really was. They offered me a choice of pizza or Vietnamese, and I picked the latter. Still, it was nice being a diva for half a moment.

For Lenora*:

• On Thursday evening, a house guest arrives who is going off for the weekend with LB.
• On Friday morning, I pick up 23 8-page research papers.
• On Friday afternoon, I drive to Urbana to be a rock star.
• On Saturday morning, I start driving to DesMones.
• On Saturday afternoon, I'll still be driving.
• On Saturday evening, I get to be a rock star in DesMoines.
• On Sunday morning, I start driving back to St. Louis.
• On Sunday afternoon, I will still be driving.
• On Sunday afternoon, I will NOT be able to see Ysolda Teague when she visits Urbana, since I just left there.
• On Monday morning, I start teaching an eight-week Intro. to Lit. class for which I have not yet written the syllabus.
• On Tuesday morning, I will still be teaching the Intro. to Lit. class.
• On Tuesday afternoon, my grades for the research paper class will be due.

That's it. I definitely need to be a diva--I want wifi, and a hotel room, and sheets with an obnoxiously high thread-count, and a massage, and a personal assistant, and a personal chef, and a driver.

I want expensive chocolates, and abundant flower arrangments, and fancy-schmanzy bottled water.

I want to cancel things due to "exhaustion" when really I've just gone on a bender.

I want to expand time and be able to be in three places at once.

If I were a real diva, I could snap my fingers and make it so.

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*For some reason, Lenora likes dots--the more the better. I think she may have a wee sadistic streak.