Mardi Gras Shrug

Directions:

• Grab yarn from stash and size 15 needles.
• Start making yet another a garter stitch scarf.
• Decide you don't need yet another a garter stitch scarf.
• Rip out.
• Decide to make a shrug.
• Decide you don't want to work in the round.
• Cast on 18 stitches.
• Knit in stockinette a bit.
• Decide you want a purl line for a cuff.
• Rip out.
• Using long tail cast on, cast 18 stitches. Purl one row, knit one row, purl three rows.
• Return to stockinette for a bit (13 rows)
• Increase one stitch at each end.
• Decide you should write the pattern down so that you can reverse the shaping on the other side.
• Realize your arms are fatter than that.
• Decide you will need to increase more often (say, every six rows).
• Work five rows and your increase row three times.
• Realize your arms really are fatter than that.
• Decide you will need to increase more often (say, every four rows).
• Work three rows and your increase row five times.
• Wonder if you wrote it all down correctly.
• Decide not to worry.
• Knit in stockinette until you are done the first ball of yarn.
• Count the rows from the last increase.
• Switch to second ball of yarn. Knit in stockinette for said number of rows.
• Start to reverse the shaping.
• Realize you may have knitted too many rows.
• Rip out a few rows.
• Go back to stockinette, reversing shaping.
• Keep eyeballing the diminishing ball of yarn, calculating the rows still to be knitted and the amount of yarn.
• Realize that to add the purl ridge for a cuff, you will need to know when you are four rows from running out of yarn.
• Guess incorrectly.
• Remind yourself that a cast-off takes much more yarn than a regular knit row.
• Rip back.
• Re-knit.
• Guess incorrectly again.
• Rip back.
• Re-knit.
• Guess incorrectly again, this time getting to within five stitches from the end.
• Rip back.
• Re-knit.
• Cast off.
• Seam up arms.
• Go buy a new t-shirt to go with the shrug.
• Return t-shirt because it does not work with the shrug.
• Buy another new t-shirt to go with the shrug.
• Get your picture taken in the shrug.
• Decide you need to seam further up the arms.


• Wear with pride.